Let me be clear, I did not run over Imogene Pass this year, nor did I turn around at the summit. As usual, both are metaphors for some profound insight that life, yet once again, has served up.
I continue to be in constant amazement about how, when receptive, life (universe, god, spirit, insert your own) can give us the exact teachable experience we NEED- void of our own willpower. Allow me to explain. Through my own growth work and healing, I've made a complete 360 with my relationship to athletics and sport-not a 180, but a full circle. I have been able to come back that pure, raw, and exhilarating place that led me to endurance activities so long ago. Gone are the days of obsessive, competitive, and worry some intentions-elite mentalities, and neurotic training.
Simply put, my soul now sings when I move. Mountain running brings this out like no other. I set my sights on running and training for Imogene this year. My number one goal was to enjoy myself-feel the freedom that only mountains can bring, the companionship of my four legged friends and my two legged ones on the trail with me. The day of the "race" would be a simply be culmination of this. That's it. Fun and freedom.
One week before the event, I felt a strange pain in my leg-often as runners this can be our new normal, but something really nagged me this time. I had a choice: check in or check out? Congruent with my work, I listened. I found out that indeed I had an injury in my pelvis and running on it could be disastrous. Despite all of what I wrote already, I felt devastated. I felt like a big part of my world had been yanked away from me. All of those training days, the efforts, the hopes for a fast run..all for nothing!
But wait...the following day, something even deeper nagged at me. I was being EXACTLY what I had worked so hard to over come! Hadn't I completed what I set out for? Indeed, my summer was filled with mountain vistas, fresh air and a beating full heart! So, where had I gone wrong?
So often in life we loose ourselves, despite our best intentions. I call this being human. I had lost myself, even for just those brief days. However, a deep and loving force inside, called me to reconsider...I HAD reached my destination after all. I had completed my journey. As I see it, the universe, created a situation that allowed me to see this. It paradoxical but so true.
Had I run over Imogene...I actually would have missed out! I would have been blinded.
And so, what I share is just the ponderings of how we get lost from time to time, how we get swept away from ourselves and how...if we care, we can allow life to bring us back home.
For me, pardon the cliche, it was ALL about the journey, destinations are aside.